Ode to the Self-employed

Once upon a time long, long, ago there lived a young woman who depended upon clients to make ends meet. When business was good…life was fantastic and the world was her oyster.  When business fell off – due to downsizing, sluggish economies, and political upheavals – well, she began to write Odes and other nonsensical utterings…

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School Mornins’ With Sam

“Cents the sky ain’t fallin’ and the crek ain’t risin’ git up and git goin’. Ya won’t ‘mont to a hill of beans if ya don’t gitta move own. That’s all I gotta to say ’bout it.”

“Oh, mom, I’m only eight…and why are you talking like that?”

“Son, lessons learned when you are young will remain with you throughout your life. Listen to the wisdom of your elders and you will become wise among your peers.”

“Gee, dad, not you too? What’s going on around here?  I’m going to school. You guys are acting toooooo weird.”

Sam’s parents high-fived out in the hallway.

“Yes!” they whispered in triumph!

It was a short lived victory…

tomorrow

after all

was another

school day.

Time and Time Again

Taking Auntie Tims on her yearly trip to the Gold Coast was a right-of-passage in the family.  Auntie Tims hardly left her home to go to the store but when the glorious May weekend arrived, she was always primped and packed and waiting with her purse on the front porch for her ride.

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Genes of a Different Sort

She was born the grand-daughter of a coal miner and the daughter of a terribly mean alcoholic. I say this to explain the uncanny ability she has to maneuver well in dim light and avoid a scrap. I understand that not everyone believes these types of traits are passed through genes but I know it to be so. Take the night that Beverly Stikes got laid out on Tempest Street.

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Who Needs a Bowl Full of Cherries Anyway?

I was speaking with a neighbor recently who is about to turn 70 years old. She was saying that she now understands why seniors get grumpy. According to her, seniors no longer care what people think – about anything, I suppose. She felt that they have earned the right to…She never did finish the sentence.

 

The conversation got me to thinking about being grumpy. Coincidentally, I received a Christmas card from my Aunt this week that referenced her dad (my grandfather whom I never met) as a grump. Is the source of grumpiness genetic or environmental? Does it constantly strive to come out and we keep it in check until we just get tired of it all and let it rip?

 

If life is like a box of chocolates, what if all of them turn out to be cream filled or cherries? I can’t think of anything worse than a bowl full of chocolate covered cherries – disgustingly sweet. I suppose a bowl with just pits and stems might be worse.

 

And what about making lemonade when life gives you lemons? Well, you have to have is a pitcher, sugar, ice, cups, a strainer, stirring tool, and water. And if you aren’t fortunate enough to have these items, then you can’t really make lemonade. I suppose that means that you just suck it up and eat lemons.

 

As we all know, eating lemons ruins your teeth so you end up toothless. That can certainly make a grump out of you…that is unless you’re too embarrassed to speak…being toothless and all.

 

If you opt for the bowl of cherries, especially chocolate covered cherries, then your cholesterol is high, you’re possibly overweight, probably have diabetes, and can no longer walk well. That leaves you sitting around watching crappy TV programs that showcase “funny” grumps and their antics; all the while wondering what the heck is so wonderful about….anything.

 

So when choosing a food gift for someone, consider the implications of long term effects and choose accordingly. Fruitcake, Rumballs, Spiced Nuts, and Bonbons all offer potentially interesting futures. Why limit oneself to a bowl full of cherries?